Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Bush to Auction Off Ports on eBay

Washington, DC (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

In a move made to quell critics of his secretive port deal with the United Arab Emirates, President Bush decided to open up the selection process by putting the ports up for bid on eBay. Whitehouse spokesman Scott McClellan called it a shining moment in the history of capitalism. "This is for all the Democrats who complained about Halliburton and no-bid contracts. You want open bidding? Fine. You got it." For a starting price of $2000 dollars, users can bid on any one of 6 major ports, including NY, NJ, Baltimore, Miami, and Philadelphia. For an added buy-one-get-one-free offer, Bush offered to throw in all ports in Delaware, as nobody cares about that state anyway. Sources indicate that Bush also originally wanted to offer ports in North Korea, but later rescinded the proposal when McClellan informed him that the U.S. didn't own the rights to them. Bush laughed and said, "Soon, my friend, soon." Payments can be made in cash or through the United Nations PayPal account.

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Blogger The Brian Tobin Lecture Series said...


10:34 AM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Hilarious, my dear Watson!

2:43 PM  

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