Friday, February 17, 2006

Disney Hires Michelle Kwan as Spokeswoman; Creates New Cartoon Character "Little Engine Who Couldn't"

Los Angeles, California (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Source story: here

Figure skater Michelle Kwan has signed on with The Walt Disney Co. as a celebrity spokeswoman, the entertainment conglomerate said Thursday. Kwan is a five-time world champion, two-time Olympic medalist, and big-time choke artist. Dubbed the "A-Rod" of figure skating by her peers for her habitual failure in the clutch, Kwan most recently pulled out of the Olympics due to a supposed "groin pull." According to a Disney spokesperson, the conglomerate was happy about Kwan's decision to quit as it "reinforced what we already liked about her. Ms. Kwan embodies the modern-day American more than any other athlete we know. She puts in a lot of effort and accomplishes a lot of minor things, but then fails when it really counts. We think that will resonate well with Americans." Disney plans to create a new cartoon character called the "Little Engine Who Couldn't" who will be voiced by Kwan. Just like Kwan, the poor engine will get into lots of wacky capers and fail to come through in the end. No word yet on whether the train will wear sequins.


Blogger Gigi said...

In related NEWS:

I was watching the olympics the other day and one of the chick ice skaters was wearing pants. Looked hot, man. Just thought I'd share that with you since we're talking about Michelle Kwan, Olympian extraordinaire. Oops. Just kidding.

The end.

4:16 PM  

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