Thursday, February 02, 2006

If You Don't Pose, The Terrorists Win

Dear Ms. Hewitt,

The time to act is now. As I'm sure you too were watching the State of the Union Address on Tuesday, you understand the troubled times in which we live. Terrorists and evil-doers threaten our very way of life, both in America and abroad. We face the most dire of futures in which our freedoms are at risk. And that is why you must pose for Playboy. If you do not pose, you are admitting to the world that the terrorists have won. By stifling your freedom of personal expression, the terrorists will have caged your indomitable spirit. Free your spirit! Uncage your two love monkeys! I know you will listen to my pleas, for your name has the word "love" in it, so surely you must cherish the same freedoms that I do. That is why you must pose - to protect these cherished freedoms.

So toss aside the naysayers and all who cast dispersions on your sacred soul. Care not for the whispers of doubt, be they from humans or ghosts, pushing you on to make the wrong choice. There is no ignominy with revealing your sweater puppies to the world. Thomas Jefferson would have wanted you to do it. And you weren't even one of his slaves.

Best Regards,
A Concerned Fan


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