Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Justice Ginsburg Recuses Self in Anna Nicole Smith Case

Washington, DC (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

In a stunning move, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg recused herself from the Anna Nicole Smith case on account of Justice Ginsburg herself being a former stripper. Justice Bader Ginsburg, or "Bader Bambi" as she was known in the trade, was a legendary stripper known for her acrobatic dances and knowledge of tort reform. Justice Ginsburg, who famously paid her way through law school with crisp single dollar bills stained with the sweat of desperate men, felt immediate compassion for the busty blonde bombshell. As such, she knew it would be impossible to be objective about the case. In a statement she said, "Before I put on these iconic robes, I spent a lot of time taking them off. I am therefore unfit to hear this case." Sources close to the case had indicated that a recusal was possible, but most thought it would come from Scalia or Thomas, who are regular attendants at many of the local clubs. Ms. Smith was, of course, dismayed at Justice Ginsburg's decision, but vowed to press on and "fight for the money that is rightfully owed me for touching those old balls on a nightly basis."

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