Friday, February 10, 2006

NSA Using Warrantless Wiretaps to Eavesdrop on Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears

Washington, DC (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Reports recently leaked to this website from insiders at the NSA indicate that the Federal Government has been conducting domestic spying on Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. The Feds initially were tipped off to potential bad parenting by Ms. Spears through a smattering of Internet reports and blogs. As the story morphed into the biggest worldwide event since Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, the Feds ramped up spying efforts against Ms. Spears and her man-bitch K-Fed. The investigation into Ms. Lohan has been ongoing for several years to determine the true origin of her magnificent mammaries. Recent efforts have intensified in order to understand the true rationale for her setting foot in Bryan Adams' house. Neither "entertainer" could be reached for comment, and the NSA refused to confirm or deny this story. They did, however, admit to being major participants in the multi-billion dollar "celebrity nip-slip" industry, supplying countless paparazzi with NASA-developed cameras to expose celebrity nipples.

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