Tuesday, February 07, 2006

An Open Letter to Air Bud Golden Receiver from Natasha Lyonne




Dear Air Bud,

I'm sure by now you've heard the reports about me. Well, for the record I'm hear to say that they are 100%, totally, and absolutely false. I would never molest another dog. Only you. Don't believe the vicious rumors that have been circulating about me. You'll always be my one true love.

I'm sorry things never worked out between us, but I didn't want you to think that I'm over you. I'm not. There's a reason I turned to heroin and eventually wandered the streets as a homeless woman. I was lost without you. But still, I would never molest another dog. Only you. Please, keep that in your heart. You may have a restraining order against me, but nothing can restrain my heart.

Can't wait until your next sequel. Hopefully you'll see one of mine (Slums of Beverly Hills 2?) because that will mean I'm working and not dead in a gutter. Miss you.

Woof!
Natasha Lyonne

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1 Comments:

Blogger Gigi said...

Equivalent Conversations:

Natasha Lyonne to dog: You're ugly

Kettle to Pot: You're black

11:51 AM  

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