Friday, February 24, 2006

Rumsfeld: Those Lazy Iraqis Could Learn From Sasha Cohen

Dear Iraqis,

Did you see Sasha Cohen the other day? What a gutsy performance. What grit. What tenacity. What resolve. You know, you could learn a lot from that girl. If you had half her resolve you'd be a functioning democracy with no insurgency. Instead, you've all chosen to be big babies. Suck it up.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. It's your country, and you're going to have to grab ahold of it and run it. Quitting is not an option. Sure, you've had some setbacks, but did Sasha Cohen quit when she fell twice? Of course not. Yes, Michelle Kwan did, but she's a Democrat so you can't trust a damn thing about that girl. What a loser. Sasha Cohen is the only figure skater after which you should model your country's reconstruction.

It's time to take control of your own destiny, citizens of Iraq. Let figure skating be your inspiration. It's the greatest thing ever created in the history of the world, and I'm not prone to exaggeration. There are known unknowns and unknown unknowns, but figure skating is definitely a known known. I think that fact is undisputed.

Pissed Off,
Donald Rumsfeld

Original JLH petition



Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker