Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Barry Bonds Accused of Steroid Use; Earth Found To Be Round


New York, NY (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

According to a book written by two reporters for the San Francisco Chronicle, Barry Bonds used a vast array of performance-enhancing (and genital reducing) drugs beginning in 1998. Bonds, whose head is a virtual planetoid with its own weather system, has long been suspected of using steroids. The book, called "Game of Shadows," was based on a two-year investigation and provides ample evidence (beyond his Sputnik-sized cranium) of Bonds' alleged drug use. In other news, the Earth is round, mountains are big, water is wet, and George Bush doesn't care about black people.

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