Sunday, March 19, 2006

Dick Cheney: I Shot Tony Soprano

Dear America,

You want to know who shot Tony Soprano? I did. That's right. I shot that fat bastard. He was a terrorist. Or in the mafia. Or something bad. Grrr! I shot him. He lived in New Jersey, which is a Blue state, so it's understandable why he was in the mob. Now I'm not saying that all Democrats are in the mob, but the fact is that they are. Which is why I shot Tony Soprano. It may have looked like Junior did it, but it was actually me. It's easy to confuse the two of us, but I assure you it was me. I take full credit. You should thank me for it, America, because you're a lot safer now. Now I'm not saying that Democrats were making you less safe, but the fact is that they were. But not any more thanks to me. Keep that in mind the next time you need someone shot. I don't miss.

Dick Cheney

Original JLH petition



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