Thursday, March 09, 2006

"Don't Shut Down Neverland Ranch," Pleads Ben Savage


Dear State of California,

I heard the news about Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch, and I'm saddened. I'm saddened for the workers who didn't get paid. I'm saddened for the workers who didn't have Workers Compensation to fall back upon when they got injured on the job. I'm saddened for the llamas and giraffes who felt lonely at night without their brethren in the wild. But most of all, I'm saddened for the children of the world, for without Neverland Ranch they will no longer have a place to escape the troubles of the world and get touched inappropriately by a scary white woman who used to be a cute black boy.

Growing up I idolized Michael Jackson. My brother, legendary actor of stage and screen Fred Savage, was much more of a Tito Jackson fan, but I loved Michael. I used to dream about Michael swooping into my room late at night, dragging me off to Neverland with his magic (and vaseline-smelling) glove, and then cuddling with me all night long on the Ferris wheel. It was innocent of course, and at the same time rowdy and wildly inappropriate. But now, with Neverland shut down, I no longer can have those dreams. Neither can other children of the world. Is there no justice in this crazy world? First the Vietnam War, and then this? I'm so deeply saddened. Can't a boy dream of being inappropriately touched?

So I beg of you, California, open up Neverland Ranch. If not for me, then for Danielle Fishel, for she too was a huge fan. I've said all I can say.

Thank You,
Ben Savage

1 Comments:

Blogger The Aural Douchebag said...

I feel your pain Ben Savage. I feel your pain.

4:06 PM  

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