Thursday, March 02, 2006

President Bush Looking Forward to Next Katrina; Says "Bring it On"


Washington, DC (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Eager to show his administration's readiness for the next epic natural disaster, President Bush declared on early Thursday that he is, "Looking forward to the next Katrina." The feckless leader said, "Some people don't think my administration can handle another natural disaster. I think they're wrong. That's why I hope something big and bad happens real soon, so we can prove everyone wrong." When asked which locations were expendable, President Bush hinted at Baltimore, Detroit, and the entire state of Rhode Island. "You need to break a few eggs to make an omelette, and I'm ready to start cooking. Bring it on."

The administration has been taking heat recently after the release of new tapes showing that the President did indeed know about the impending disaster in New Orleans. In his defense, Bush spokesman Trent Duffy remarked, "You have to understand that the President is not a very bright man. You really can't expect him to remember this type of stuff from day to day. Besides, he's from Texas and most of New Orleans is...well...you know...not Lance Armstrong if you know what I mean."

Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada issued an immediate statement of whines, cries, and other such blubberings. Senator Hillary Clinton followed Reid's statement with an equally whiney one, although more boring.

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