Wednesday, April 05, 2006

An Open Letter From Jessica Alba to Jennifer Love Hewitt

Hey Jennifer!

Did you hear the news? Hef apologized to me for putting me on that Playboy cover. Remember how mad I got when he put me on the cover? It was just so wrong. I mean, I don't have a problem with nudity, but I was angry because that cover should totally have gone to you. And when I saw him put my picture on it instead of yours, I was outraged! Thankfully, he apologized, but it was too late. I hope you forgive him for that. The world needs to see you in Playboy, so don't let this incident deter you. Trust me, Hef still loves you. As do I. We should make out sometime soon.

Anyway, I should probably go now. I have to get a bikini wax this afternoon. Oh and I have to neuter my cat again. He's already been fixed a few times, but I like to do it every once in a while just to make sure. I'm sure Mr. McKitty loves it!

Call me soon and we'll go clubbing or something. It's been TOOOO long. Everytime we go out we just get sooooo crazy. Maybe we'll both snort some cocaine again. Hee hee. The word snort always makes me laugh, but I just can't write "do some blow" with a straight face. Hee hee. Can't wait!

Jessica Alba

Original JLH petition

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Anonymous jpr said...

congratulations on hewitt's marriage but keep the drugs a secret, jim jon thankyou.

12:39 AM  

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