Tuesday, May 09, 2006

David Blaine Performs Death-Defying Stunt; Fans Tired of the Defying Part

New York, NY (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

David Blaine - magician, self-promoter, and otherwise useless contributor to society - left the hospital today after being admitted for observation following his one week fishbowl odyssey. Mr. Blaine had spent the past week trapped in an 8-foot fish bowl with an oxygen mask and then attempted to hold his breath for a world record 9 minutes. He was pulled from the tank after 7 minutes, two short of the record, and was greeted by a chorus of boos from the disappointed onlookers, most of whom were hoping for death to win for a change. Mr. Blaine has defied death many times in the past, and most onlookers felt it was death's turn. "It's only fair," said Kathy Robertson, mother of two and avowed magic-hater. "I mean, it's getting kinda boring to see him win all the time."

Event organizers were very happy to see Mr. Blaine emerge alive as they were hesitant to flush him down the toilet if he died in the fishbowl. No word on whether Mr. Blaine will try any new stunts, but sources indicate that nobody cares.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I want to know is who bankrolls this dude?

5:20 PM  
Blogger Gigi said...

Pure genius.

2:33 PM  

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