Thursday, May 18, 2006

Jimmy Hoffa Found Emerging from Angelina Jolie's Vagina

Swakopmund, Namibia (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

One of the lucky paparazzis staked out in Namibia on the round-the-clock Angelina Jolie baby-watch, made a stunning discovery on Thursday. Leonard Weisenblatt, a photographer for the newly created Daily Branjelina, was hiding in the brush trying to spot signs of the anointed child's arrival into this great world when he spotted Jimmy Hoffa's head sticking out of Ms. Jolie's vagina. Hoffa, a famed teamster in the 50s and 60s, has been missing since 1975, when he reputedly was killed by mobsters. Recently, the FBI began digging at Hidden Dreams Farm in Michigan in search of the "the human remains of James Riddle Hoffa." Little did they know that Mr. Hoffa was actually being kept in Ms. Jolie's womb.

Mr. Weisenblatt didn't initially know what he had photographed. "I was just happy to see something near Angelina's hole," he said. Upon learning it was actually the elusive Mr. Hoffa, he was both shocked and enthusiastic. "A baby would have been great, but a missing teamster...well, that just takes the cake. I mean, shit." Sources close to Jolie have not confirmed the validity of the story, but they did indicate that it was no coincidence that Jolie was born only one month after Mr. Hoffa disappeared. No word from the Hoffa family, but sources indicate they too are happy to be associated with Ms. Jolie's vagina.


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