Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Mary Cheney Officially Changes Name To "Openly Gay Mary Cheney"

Washington, DC (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Mary Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney's openly gay daughter has filed papers to officially change her name to "Openly Gay Mary Cheney." The move is unlikely to cause any commotion on Capital Hill, as most of the press corp already refers to her as openly gay at every opportunity anyway, but the name change likely will upset her moribund, monstrous, moldered, nefarious, effete, and mostly bald father. Initially Mary was simply going to change her name to "Gay Mary Cheney," but friends informed her that it wasn't gay enough. To REALLY let people know that she was full-out swashbuckling Ellen Degeneres gay, she decided to add openly to her title. She almost added the full title "Vice President's Openly Gay Daughter" to her name, but thought it would be too much work when signing checks. Although she did think that having VPOGDMC as her initials would be wicked cool in an openly gay type of way.

Openly Gay Mary Cheney has been relentlessly promoting her openly gay new book "Now It's My Turn: A Daughter's Chronicle of Political Life", and has become emboldened at the new research supporting the genetic basis of being openly gay. Plans are in the works to write a new openly gay book titled "Not That There's Anything Wrong With It" with a forward by Larry David. No openly gay word yet from the Vice President's camp, but openly gay sources indicate that he's fuming in an undisclosed but openly gay location.


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