Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Matt Leinart to Release Sex Tape

Las Vegas, NV (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Matt Leinart can add two more items to his ever burgeoning resume. Heisman trophy winner, one of the 100 most beautiful people, top 10 draft pick in the NFL, and now...herpes and a sex tape. Recent reports have linked Matt Leinart to Paris Hilton (or here), ensuring Mr. Leinart's eventual STD infection and increasing his likelihood to release a sex tape.

Although Mr. Leinart has never before released a sex tape, he is most assuredly up to the challenge, as he is familiar with all things Trojan and Bush. Mr. Leinart had previously denied his relationship with Ms. Hilton, but sources indicate that he had been privately hinting at it for weeks, saying such things as, "I'm going to be staying at a Hilton tonight," or "I love going into a Hilton," or "I just had invasive anal sex with Paris Hilton last night."

There has been no confirmation yet from either Ms. Pokebag or Mr. Leinart, but sources close to the heiress indicate that she she's happy to be dating again, and wants to thank Mr. T. for his advice. The happy couple could be seen shopping at a Best Buy, trying out cameras for the inevitable sex tape.


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Blogger bobgirrl said...

Happy to be dating "again?" When has Ms. Pokebag ever NOT been "dating?"

11:09 AM  
Anonymous badmammajamma said...

I think it would be more accurate if those sources had said that she was happy to be indiscriminately fucking again.

2:34 PM  

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