Monday, May 22, 2006

Paris Hilton To Lindsay Lohan: You Can Have Your Nachos Rancheros



Dear Lindsay,

A little birdie told me that you were canoodling with my ex, Mr. Nachos Rancheros himself. Now, I don't know what canoodling means because I'm not really the brightest bulb in the hamster wheel. But it sounds bad. And, like, that makes you bad. You're not a teen queen...you're a teen mean. Yeah, that's what you are. Fuck you. But don't fuck him. He's mine. Even though I dumped him. Whatever. I'm rich!

So...anyway, don't, like, do him. Or if you're going to, don't do it in public. Do it behind a barn. Without protection. Because he has herpes. From me. And then you'll get it and I'll laugh because I'm so hot. So hot. Either way I'll win because I'm rich. And you? Ha ha...you had to act with Tina Fey in Mean Girls. Now THAT truly means you're pathetic. I rest my case.


Suck it,
Paris Hilton


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Original JLH Petition


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