Friday, June 09, 2006

An Apology from Lindsay Lohan to Al Gore

Dear Mr. Gore,

I'm sorry for whatever I did that is making you mad at me. When I heard on the Tonight Show that you think we're in a feud, I burst out into tears. You are, and always will be, the love of my life. I'm devastated that you no longer feel the same way.

Is it because of global warming? Do you blame me for that? I'll try to recycle more, honest! And I'll have you know, that my breast implants actually absorb carbon dioxide from the air, which actually REDUCES global warming. Bet you didn't know that. Well, it's true. Okay, maybe it's a lie, but I want it to be true. I want to right this great wrong that has caused you to hate me. I love you, Al. Can't you see that???

Is it my drinking and drug use? Or is it my general whoring around town? Wait...I know, it's the whole Wilmer Valderrama thing, isn't it? Look, cocaine is a helluva thing, and makes you do a lot of dumb things. I admit, that wasn't my high point. Neither was that film I did with the transvestite from Trading Places. But that's no reason to hate me, Al. Hate the game, not the playa'. beloved, please accept my wholehearted apology. I'm willing to do anything to get you back. I'd even kill a man. Or a woman. Or Teri Hatcher. You say the word, and I'll do it. Because I love you. And I can't stand to think that you're angry at me. Save the earth, man, but save me first.

Lindsay Lohan


Original JLH petition

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Blogger parnellpr said...

thanx for putting me on blog roll. Just done my first world cup posts, come read and comment if you like. Glad 2 c u have maintained high standards. Frustrated

6:30 PM  

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