Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Dirk Nowitzki Explains How to Choke



Dear NBA fans,

Choking is a very wonderful thing. It's sad that people think of choking as such a negative thing. I love choking in big situations! It really helps eliminate the tension. More people should do it. I think Dwyane Wade should do it more.

Anyway, since so many of you are ignorant about it, let me explain how to choke like a master:


1. Gently place each hand on opposing sides of your wife or girlfriend's neck.
2. Wrap your hands around her neck and try to interlock your fingers, if possible.
3. Begin to lightly apply pressure
4. Start humming your favorite David Hasselhoff song. I prefer Looking For Freedom. This is a crucial step. You must hum a David Hasselhoff song. No other artist is as wonderfully talented as this great man.
5. Intensify the pressure, and start shaking your girlfriend/wife
6. Start cursing in German
7. Begin yelling German curse words while shaking your girlfriend/wife violently
8. Release your grip just as her eyes start widening. Curse again in German and walk away.


And that's how you choke. Don't let NBA writers tell you otherwise.


Best Regards,
Dirk Nowitzki


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Original JLH petition


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2 Comments:

Blogger parnellpr said...

wow you certainly got your point across! Choking in the sporting sense is something english sports fans and teams are pretty familiar with. Pippa

6:50 PM  
Blogger Dawn Benko said...

So--uh--how's your wife?

11:03 PM  

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