Monday, June 05, 2006

Heather McCartney Apologizes to Paul for German Porn

Dear Paul, I know we're splitting up and everything, but...uh...sorry about the whole German porn thing. I mean, on the bright side, at least he didn't take a dump on me, right? Right? That's pretty much standard in German scheise movies, so you know that I had standards when I did those pictures. High standards. Um...yeah.

Anywhoooo....I hope this doesn't ruin my chances to get half your money. I'd hate for that to happen. I'd be so despondent that...that...well...I don't know. I may even take my leg off and beat myself to death with it. It's not unheard of. Really, it's not. So...uh...please forgive me.

Okay...I guess I'll see you in court. And again, sorry for the German porn. My bad.

Sorta Love,
Heather Mills


Original JLH petition

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Blogger Table Mountains said...

i do hope she gets new boobs with her divorce settlement.even back when she posed for the photos,they didn't look that great.

7:36 PM  

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