Thursday, June 01, 2006

An Open Letter from Lindsay Lohan To Her Hypnotist

Dear Mr. Hypnotist,

I don't think our hypno-therapy is working. We started these sessions to help me end my shopping addiction, yet just the other day I went out and bought a DVD of the best of Step by Step. What the hell was that about? Yes, Patrick Duffy is the greatest actor in the history of cinema, but come on. Step by Step??? I think you made me worse, Doc. Right now, I feel a sudden urge to buy an autographed picture of Patrick Duffy on e-bay. And wait...I'm feeling the urge to buy the Dallas series on DVD. Wait a you work for Patrick Duffy? Are you Patrick Duffy? I don't know, this is all too confusing. I don't feel so good. I want to go throw up...that always makes me feel better.

Do you know where I can get a Patrick Duffy bobble-head doll? Damn! I did it again. You know what? Our sessions our over. Thanks for nothing, Doc. I'm going to tell Nachos Rancheros about this. He'll get you. Just you see.

Lindsay Lohan


Original JLH Petition

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