Tuesday, June 13, 2006

An Open Letter From Madonna to Britney Spears

Dear Britney,

It's time to throw down, bitch. Nobody, and I mean nobody rejects Kabbalah. I don't think you're ready to face the wrath of this Material Girl. I'm a Michigan girl, and we knows us some fighting. So you want to fight? You really want to fight? Well, if you want to throw down in fisticuffs I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary right here. Just come and get it.

How did things get to be like this? Remember when we were kissing and making music videos together? And now you leave me like this? Alone with just my Kabbalah and nothing else? I curse you. You are no longer my white trash protege. You are now just white trash. Baruch atah my ass.

I'm so upset. I think I'll go call Wilford Brimley for some solace. He won't leave me hanging like some little bitch. Why don't you go back to your home on whore island. Yeah, I said it. Deal.

Cursing You,


Original JLH petition

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