Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hey Kid Rock, Your Wedding Has My Blessing

Hey Kid,

Can I call you Kid? Or should I call you Mr. Rock? Hot damn, man, you're one lucky piece of shit! I'm sorry. I don't I mean that you're a piece of shit. Man, I just was so fuckin' excited that I jumbled my damn words. Alls I mean is that I'd give my left nut to marry that blonde jugster, Pam Anderson. Yeeeeah! Pam Anderson is a hot piece of somethin', man, and you're gonna bang that shit all day, every day. Can I watch? Man, I don't even need to watch. Just let me drink a Coors Light that was sittin' in your room when you guys do it, and I'll die a happy man. Hot damn, man!

I heard she got the Hep C. I don't know what that is, but it sounds hot, man. Make sure to save some Hep C for me! I've always wanted some. Yeah, man, that's good stuff. Actually, can you buy Hep C in Canada or something? She is a certified Canadian, and they gots themselves some weird stuff up there. Maybe I can take my house for a ride to that Canada place. Where the hell is it?

Alright, man, you stay cool. I'm gonna go beat my wife, cuz that's what I like to do on Wednesday mornings. Today's Wednesday right? Shit, I don't even know what day it was. I went to my daughter's junior prom last night and it was all crazy. No, I wasn't her date. I was her chaper-something...and I was her best friend's date. I didn't even know summer school had a prom. Fuck, I didn't even know there was a summer school. But it was a great time. She put on grandma's prom dress and the four of us sat around a fire and drank some Coors Light. What an evenin', man. What a fuckin' evening.

Good luck at the wedding, man. And bang her a good one on the fuckin' honeymoon.

Yee to the fuckin' hah,
Billy Jo Cletus


Original JLH petition

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Blogger Gigi said...

I had no idea that they were getting married. Man, I'm coming here for my gossip updates from now on!!

10:01 AM  
Blogger parnellpr said...

Seriously Pammy, even Billy jo would probably be better.

6:42 PM  

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