Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Jessica Alba: I'd Still Do You Lance Bass

Dear Lance Bass,

Honey, I don't care if you're gay. I'd still do you. Sure, it would feel as natural as the Olsen twins eating a three course meal, but I'd still do you. I'd wrap my nubile legs around your harmonizing body and ride you like a pit bull riding Barbara Walters' ass. Granted, you wouldn't actually enjoy it or probably even be functionally erect (as opposed to non-functionally erect?), but I'd still do you. Yup, you're as gay as the day is long, but I'd still do you.

Don't get me wrong, I still pine for Major Dad, but that is more of a distant love type of thing. You? I want to ravage your body all day. In short, I want to do you, whether or not you're gay, straight, or Nelly Furtado.

Hot For You,
Jessica Alba


Original JLH petition

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