Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Keira Knightley: I'm Not Anorexic, I Just Eat Very Small Portions

Dear World,

I'm not anorexic. Please, I beg you ever so kindly to believe me. I don't starve myself. I don't withhold food from my flat stomach. I don't fail to partake of my daily food consumption. I simply eat small portions. Very small.

For example, a typical British girl at Wimbledon may eat 7 or 8 strawberries and drink a glass of champagne. That's like a seven course meal for me. I prefer to eat a single strawberry seed and lick the champagne off of the cork. That's not starving myself. It's just my normal portion size. Trust me, it makes me so full!! In order to keep my flat stomach and flat chest (where did you think they got the title of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, eh?), I need to eat small portions. You can take your 3 chicken egg omelet - I'll use rat eggs. What? Rats don't lay eggs? Okay, then I guess I'll just pass on breakfast. And maybe lunch and dinner too.

So, I beg of you to stop these salacious rumors about me. I'm not anorexic. Eating a single Cheerio for breakfast is not a problem. It's proper portion control from a proper Brit. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to chain myself to a tree. I feel a gust of wind coming and I may blow away.

Keira Knightley


Original JLH petition

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