Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Matt Lauer Admits To Loving Porn



Hi America!

My name is Matt Lauer and I love pornography! I love it! Love it! Love it! Love it! Nothing in the world makes me happier than downloading some Internet porn on my NBC-issued IBM Thinkpad computer. It's great! I do it in my house. I do it with a mouse. I do it on the phone. I do it and get a bone...er. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Yay porn!

Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn!

Seriously, the site of two 19-year-old women kissing each other, while fondling a well-hung black man named Lex makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. And outside! Ha ha...that was a porn joke because I love porn. I'm telling you, when our Lord Gerald Ford created the Porno Superhighway, he had me in mind. Katie used to marvel at the quantity of porn that I watched. She suggested that I had some type of mental disease and offered me some of her anti-depressant pills, but we all know those are BS!!! There really is no rational explanation for my love of the great world of pornography. I just love it. More than anything else in this world. Yes, even more than Britney and definitely more than Mr. T.

Anyway...I guess what I'm trying to say is....yay porn! I'm going to go download some great girl on girl action right now because that's what I'm in the mood for. Trust me, I know where to find it.


Porn,
Matt Lauer


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Original JLH petition


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3 Comments:

Anonymous Dan Patterson said...

I wonder what Wilford would say about Matt's statement.

Dan Patterson
Arrogant Infidel

4:50 PM  
Blogger A Concerned Fan said...

I think he would approve. Besides checking his blood sugar, there's nothing Wilford likes more than a little girl on girl action.

I'm shivering now.

11:07 PM  
Blogger parnellpr said...

Guy likes porn?

OMG

My world has been shattered*

9:27 PM  

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