Thursday, July 13, 2006

The World Waits For James Gandolfini

Dear Sopranos Viewers,

Get used to disappointment. Do you fuckin' hear what I'm fuckin' saying? Learn to live with some pain. Life ain't always so fuckin' rosey, so you have to deal with whatchu get. So the show has been delayed for a few months...big fuckin' deal. We're the only show that takes 6-8 months to make 8 episodes. What's another 3 months? Stop your whining now. Or I may just take my good knee and put it right in your fuckin' groin. That's what I thought. You'll wait for me to heal, and you'll fuckin' like it.

If you really can't wait, why don't you go out and buy the Sopranos DVDs. Or maybe the DVDs for Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. You know that show was pretty good for a few episodes, and Teri Hatcher was pretty fuckin' hot those days. Now she looks like a space alien from the planet Nep-fucking-tune. I'd still do her, though. But I'd do Sarah Jessica Parker too, and she looks like shrapnel. Hell, I'd even do Pam Anderson, and she has Hepatitis C, so I guess my fuckin' standards aren't too high. Fuck you if you have a problem with that. And go rent the Sopranos, now.

All this fuckin' typing has made my knee sore. I'm going to go ice the fucking joint before it pops open like Vito's ass when they shoved that pool cue up it. Fiction you say? I say it was fact. And if you've got a problem with it, then I suggest you take it up with my friend Clark fucking Kent. That guy was a fuckin' badass and banged that Teri Hatcher broad. I'll drink to that. Lechaim.

Fuck You,
James Gandolfini


Original JLH petition

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