Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A Thousand Different Ways to Be Totally Awesome

Dear World,

I released my third album yesterday, and I have to tell you, it's awesome. It's called A Thousand Different Ways and it's about life, happiness, respect, and overcoming my addiction to Advil. These past few years have been painful, but I've come a long way since my ibuprofen-popping days back in early 2004. The descent and subsequent resurrection I went through since then is reflected in the songs "Lonely No More" and "These Open Arms." "Everything I Have" is about my complex and subtle relationship with God. God, of course, being the name of my pet cat. She's everything in the world to me, especially because I'm completely asexual and have no interest in sex with any creature.

For those of you looking for good new music, you'll be upset because this album is all covers. The good news is that if you like good new music, then you're probably not one of my fans. I'm very grateful for the Clay Nation, and hope they continue to support me as I grow as a musician and magician. I hope to one day become the greatest magician in the world, but right now am content to just sing. Magic is part II of this act that I call life.

So go out and buy my album today. It's Awesome with a capital Clay. You'll never tire of it. Oh's that tremendous. Tremendous with a capital Clay.

Clay Aiken


Original JLH petition

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Blogger Slinky Redfoot said...

I'd much rather hear covers than his orginal schlop. Then again, he's desicrating those great tunes. I can't decide which is more awful. Oh Clay, you are a loathsome thing.

10:36 PM  
Blogger A Concerned Fan said...

He is the lizard king. Somebody step on him

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what you all are talkin about...this guy is HOT, with a capital G-A-Y.

7:22 AM  

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