Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving From Lorenzo Lamas

Dear America,

Happy Thanksgiving! I am Lorenzo Lamas, America's official Thanksgiving representative three years running. It is my distinct pleasure to welcome in the holiday for you, to you, and most importantly - with you. Let us celebrate together.

First, a small prayer. Dear Lord Almighty, savior of my people and creator of the hit TV show Charmed, I ask of you to bless this great land called America on this most blessed of all secular holidays. I ask for you to watch over us as we consume great quantities of food, drink heartily, insult our relatives, and drive drunk on the roads. Please keep our bellies full, our hearts pure, and our latin love-sticks caliente! And let us say, Amen.

And with this prayer under our belt, it's time for the celebrating to begin. As the official Thanksgiving representative me and my superior pectoral muscles are proud to usher in this weekend full of fun, mayhem, and maybe even a little nookie. Well, I'll certainly get action, but that's because I am Lorenzo Lamas - manstud extraordinaire. Perhaps my studliness will rub off on you. Then you too shall enjoy Thanksgiving as it is meant to be spent - on top of a beautiful woman.

With Love,
Lorenzo Lamas


Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition

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Anonymous Velvet Sea is Hot said...

Thanks Lorenzo... now don't go whipping out the lasher pointer on me!,6115,432562_3%7C77894%7C%7C0_0_,00.html

11:57 PM  

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