Monday, November 06, 2006

Neil Patrick Harris To Release Gay Sex Tape



Los Angeles, CA (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

Neil Patrick Harris, who recently outed himself as a proud gay man, is planning to release a gay sex tape in late November to prove his total gayness. Harris, who in the early 1990s played the lovable abortion-giving doctor Doogie Howser, has become somewhat of a cultural icon in recent years with his urinate-in-your-trowsers-funny cameo in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. In this now famous cameo, Harris does illegal drugs and shamefully cavorts indecently with members of the opposite sex. Although the scene was poop-in-your-sock funny, sources indicate that Harris now regrets it.

According to one source, "Neil was all set to come out of the closet a few years ago and tell the world that he had been happily dating Tom Cruise, but then he needed money to eat so he did the scene in Harold and Kumar. Even worse, Tom hooked up with Katie Holmes and ended his relationship with Neil. Well, not really, but at least he "officially" did. Anyway, he knew that he couldn't out himself yet. Or at least not until the world found out that Suri Cruise was adopted."

For Harris, who ignored repeated requests for an exclusive Please Do It Ms. Hewitt interview, a gay sex tape was the only way to truly prove to the world that he was of the homosexual variety. It's one thing to say you're gay, and it's another to get videotaped doing it with a large black man named Lenny. Mr. Harris opted for the latter.

No word yet on who will star in the movie, but sources close to the male-enjoying former child star indicate that it could be Dustin Diamond or Mario Lopez.


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Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition


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1 Comments:

Anonymous JLH said...

It's the three name thing. Gives it away (no pun). Hey! Maybe that means someone ELSE with three names is...Nah.

7:30 AM  

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