Katie Couric Declines On-Air Gang Bang In Final Today Show Episode
New York, NY (ABSP) - Associated BS Press
Earlier today the undisputed queen of morning perkiness, Katie Couric, bid farewell to NBC's Today Show, but not before politely declining one final on-air gangbang with fellow hosts Al Roker and Matt Lauer. Roker had been lobbying for an on-air orgy for years.
"I've never kept secret my intentions of having a Roker-Couric-Lauer sandwich on live TV," said the jovial and untalented weatherman, "but she's always turned me down. I thought it was a weight thing, then I thought it was a black thing, but now I'm thinking it was just good-ole-fashioned hesitation to performing hardcore pornography on network TV. Go figure."
Couric has never been one to shy away from controversial actions, such as when she broadcast an on-air colonoscopy in 2000. Sources indicate that at the time she also wanted to broadcast an on-air vasectomy, but Matt Lauer wouldn't agree to it. This time it was Couric who balked.
"You know she wants to do it," sneered an angry Lauer. "Seriously, she's just acting all corporate now that she's a fancy-shmancy news anchor. You know what? I don't even want to do it anymore. I wouldn't fuck her with Al Roker's dick."
No word from the Couric camp, although sources indicate that she was proud of her final Today Show episode and has no plans to enter the adult industry. However, rumblings out of the Roker camp indicate that he is finally ready to enter his dream industry and is preparing to shoot a new feature with Jenna Jameson titled I Predict That It Will Rain...All Over You.
Original JLH Petition
Tags: Katie Couric, Al Roker, Matt Lauer, Today Show, Katie Couric's farewell, gangbang, Jenna Jameson