Ashlee Simpson: Mel Gibson Can Drive Me Home Anytime
You silly little Aussie! You went and got yourself all drunk and stuff and then, like, drove a car and stuff. I can't believe you got a DOA! That was, like, sooooo dumm. I once almost got a DOA, but then I turned to the cop and he was like, "Wow! Ashlee Simpson! I won't give you a DOA!" He then arrested me. What a jerk. It's okay, daddy got me out of jail before anyone knew who I was. Phew! Hope you didn't have a bad time in jaily-jail. I'm sure everyone had seen that great movie you made, Air America, and cut you some slack. You were so cute in that movie! Daddy used to make us watch that movie every single day. He also used to make us dance in front of him in little French maid outfits. Daddy's weird!
Okay, I just wanted to let you know that you were a silly drunk little goose, but I'll still let you drive me anywhere. But you'll have to let me sing in the car! Although I've learned that we have to keep the windows shut as my voice has been deemed noise pollution by six federal judges. Whatever. They don't know diddly sasquatch. They're dumm!
Okay!! Pick me up anytime Mel!!! Love ya!
Original JLH petition
Tags: Ashlee Simpson, Mel Gibson DUI, Mel Gibson, Aussie