Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Parker Posey's Vagina Identified As Source Of NYC Odor

New York, NY (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

The source of the foul-smelling odor that permeated Manhattan yesterday has finally been identified as stemming from the vagina of famed actress Parker Posey. Earlier today, city officials pinpointed the origins of the unknown smell in New Jersey. While that seemed a very logical choice given New Jersey's history of being a barren wasteland filled with nothingness, emptiness, and Parsippany, it turned out to be wrong. Ms. Posey's noxious woo-woo was fingered by several sources in the East Village as the root cause of the smell.

Known as "Queen of the Indies" for her prolific work in independent movies, Posey has long been rumored to have foul-smelling woman parts. Sources deep within the movie industry have indicated that her stinky poo-poo has kept her out of many leading roles, despite her obvious acting talents. Recently, however, she had been making a name for herself with large roles in Superman Returns and Blade:Trinity (or its alternate title How I Learned To Cheat The IRS: By Wesley Snipes).

Doctors cannot explain how one woman's private parts were able to disseminate such a widespread wretched aroma, but they are investigating Courtney Love and Lacey Chabert for more clues on this rare phenomena. Initial hypotheses center around a midnight skinny dip in the East River. No word yet from Ms. Posey, but several witnesses recently saw her exiting CVS with a bag of cotton balls and multiple bottles of oil and vinegar dressing.


Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition

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Blogger dmbmeg said...

lacey chabert! yes! actually, i think all the salinger children probably could be attributed to the smell.

12:45 PM  
Blogger A Concerned Fan said...

You know...I didn't even remember she was on Party of Five until you mentioned it. Ha!

And yes, they all have stinky privates. That's why everyone on the island on Lost keep dying. Matthew Fox's junk smells. good times.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...fingered by several sources"

9:40 AM  

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