Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Joe Francis To Release "Girls Gone Wild: Prison Rape" Edition



Dear America,

As you may have heard, I'm going to jail for a little while. Anybody who had ever seen one of my Girls Gone Wild videos (ahem...that means you Ben Affleck), knew that I'd eventually end up here, but little did they know I'd be here so quickly! Maybe in 10 years, when one of the topless 15 year old girls I filmed grew up, went to law school, and then sued my ass. But nope, I'm here now. And I have to tell you...I'm loving it. It turns out I'm a huge fan of prison rape! Not being raped, of course, as that is an awful experience that has me crying every night (sort of like watching the Celtics play). What I love is watching prison rape happen and filming people doing it. It's so much fun!

Sadly, I don't get to see nubile young women flash me, so I guess the title of the new video Girls Gone Wild: Prison Rape is a bit of a misnomer. It really should be called Guy On Guy Hardcore Sex: Prison Rape Edition, but that's just semantics. I'm sure my core audience of teenage and 20 year old males will still want to watch it. Who wouldn't want to see convicts yelling, cavorting, fighting, and then having their way with each other. It's my dream come true! Except when I'm being raped. I hate that.

In the end (no pun intended), going to prison was the best thing possible for me. I don't really know why, but people always say that. If this new movie takes off, perhaps I'll have found my calling by filming convicts engaging in sodomy. If it doesn't take off, well, I may be arrested again for the content. Either way I come out a winner. Joe Francis rules!

So, please, spend some of your hard earned cash on this great new video. It doesn't have female genitalia or breasts or anything of that boring nature. Just hardcore inmate on inmate action - Joe Francis style. Boo yah!!!


Rapingly Yours,
Joe Francis


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Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition


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