Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Air Bud Challenges Michael Vick To A Fight



Hey Michael,

So you like fighting dogs, eh? Yeah, it makes you feel tough. You feel like a real man, dontcha. We know you're a big pussy on the football field and can't win the big game, but as long as you hang or electrocute a dog, you're a tough guy. Well not in my book. You're just a cocksucking punkass pathetic excuse for a football player. I challenge you to a fight, in the parking lot or on the gridiron. I'll take you either way cuz I'm a tough son of a bitch. Yeah, she was a bitch. They all are. And I'm a badass wide receiver. Bad enough to embarrass your ass. You like hurting dogs? Well I'll like hurting you. Cuz you're a big pussy, and if there's one thing I destroy...it's pussies.

Don't try to run away. Sure, you may be fast, but I'm Air Bud...I can outrun anyone. Maybe you'd know that if you didn't spend so much time killing dogs for fun. You make my blood boil, and that's a dangerous thing because my blood is jet fuel and I'm ready to explode. I can't wait to see you sitting there in court in your finest suit, your tail hanging between your legs. Wait, you don't have a tail because you're not a dog. You kill dogs. Well guess what? I'm a dog, and I'm here to kick your human ass.

See this helmet on me? It's not there for my protection; it's there for yours. I don't know what that means, but it sounds menacing and that's what I'm here to do. Menace you. And bite you. And then I'll lead my team to the Super Bowl. Because I'm Air Bud: Golden Receiver and I don't take shit from nobody...especially not a dog killer. Asshole. Fear me.


Menacingly,
Air Bud




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Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition


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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is truly a dog-abusing monkey piece of scum. It's not a racial thing, it's a behavior thing. He is human trash.

2:33 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

Good one.

1:26 PM  

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