Monday, July 09, 2007

Hey, Pancake Tits! I'm Talking to You



Hey there Pancake Tits. Yeah, I'm talking to you. You think you're so hot, don't you. Sitting there with no bra on with your nips showin' through. I'm on to your little parlor games. You're not foolin' anyone, least of all me. Don't even try to look down at your free newspaper on the subway. I have a free newspaper too, but I'm not reading it. I'm staring at your pancake tits. Yeah, I am. Why don't you stare at my formal business pants-suit. Oh, it's not the same, is it? Not all of us can make such a bold statement as you can, Ms. Pancake Tits. Or is it Mrs. Pancake Tits? I don't want to insult a Mr. Pancake Tits if there is one in your life. I mean, why wouldn't there be, right? You have everything a young business executive needs. You've got style, flare, a free newspaper in the subway, and pancake tits. As a young, up-and-coming female executive, I'm jealous of you. That's right, I want to have your pancake tits. That way, I can stop wearing these constricting business suits and just show my PTs to the world. That's why I'm staring at you. It's pure jealousy.

I hate you. Okay, I said it. You and your pancake tits are taunting me. Don't deny it, Pancake Tits, because that's what you've been thinking about all along. That's why you wore what you wore. There's no other reason to wear a thin t-shirt with no bra in the subway on the way to work unless you want to taunt other women with your glorious pancake tits. Oh, I know your type. And that makes me hate you even more, Pancake Tits. I will destroy you one day. Be sure of that. I'm sure of it. Just as I'm sure that your pancake tits are horrible. You heard me. Deal with it.

Okay, it's my stop now on the subway. Keep reading. Don't even look up. Fine, be that way Pancake Tits. I'll get you one day. Oh, you'll see. I'll get you and your braless pancake tits. Just you wait. Fucking nip shower. Go to hell.


Love,
Young Female Business Executive



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Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition


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2 Comments:

Blogger OneEar said...

I respect your post and your opinion, but I have to ask: Why no picture of the pancake tits?

12:34 PM  
Blogger A Concerned Fan said...

I guess because it's family site. Um...an Ozark family that is...

8:47 PM  

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