Wednesday, September 19, 2007

President Bush Wants An Emmy

Dear America,

I want an Emmy! C'mon people, I deserve one of them Emmy thangs. After all, I am the only acting President now, right? That has to mean something. I know it'll never happen because it's that damn liberal intelligensia who vote on the award, but I've had some damn fine TV moments where I've acted my Texas ass off. For instance, remember when I talked about Mission Accomplished? That was great acting because none of what I said was true. Some people in America may have accused me of lying or trumping up stuff. No, no, no. It's acting. When I said I would fire anyone involved in the leaking of that Plame woman, and then didn't do anything when Rovey-boy was caught. I didn't go back on my word. I never had a word! You see, I was acting. Acting! That's why I deserve an Emmy type thing.

Don't let that James Spader guy fool you, I'm the best acting man, or whatever they call that award. I wear my shirt with the sleeves rolled up when I'm really trying to act. That's my way of showing you American people that I am acting because I'm so good that you wouldn't know if I didn't tell you. In the middle of some of my speeches, I've thought about turning to the camera and saying, "Ha ha! I'm acting. You didn't know that!" Like when I kept supporting that Attorney General Alberto guy even though everyone hated him. I was acting, but you had no idea. That's how good I am. If that doesn't deserve an Emmy, then I don't know what does. Maybe Jessica Alba for that new movie. No wait, that's an Oscar Meyer.

I'll let you go now, cuz you have important things to do. I have to go run a country. Unfortunately, I don't have an Emmy to help me run the country, but you can't have everything. If I could have one thing in this world, it would be an Emmy. And then maybe world peace and prosperity. But first my Emmy, cuz then I could use it to beat up silly Democrats. Ha ha! Acting again. Or was I?

Actingly Yours,
George W. Bush


Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition

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