Wednesday, October 03, 2007

K-Fed To Donate Children To Charity

What up my bitches!!!

Yo, I am psyched that I got my kids back from that shaved pussy showing crazy girl! You know, my wife Britney Spears? Yeah, she done and lost our kids in that custody battle thing we just did in court. It was fuckin' awesome, man! I mean, I love those lil' sonofabitches so much. I totally wouldn't trade them for a rap career. No way. I may consider it a bit, but there ain't no way I'm tradin' them. Okay, maybe one of them, but that's it. Imagine that, yo, me a rap star. That would be the fuckin' bizzomb! That's right, I said bizzomb. I'm bringing back 2002, baby!

I don't even have to tell you that I'm a good parent, because I'm sure you know it already. Although it don't take much to look like a good parent compared to my ex-wife. I totally don't get drunk and naked around my kids like that wizzoman does. Sure, I smoke crack, but that's totally different, yo. Crack is like my medicine, man. It keeps me focused on life and stuff. But my kids never try my crack. The only crack they see is Britney's shaved pussy. Booooooo yahhhhhh!! That's a funny joke, yo. Funny in that my-kids-are-going-be-in-serious-therapy type of way, you know? It's alright, cuz the Brit will pay for the sessions. She's "rich y'all" as she would say. That's why I loved her.

Now, some of you may say that this whole thing is kind of depressing and that those poor children are the ones who will suffer in the end. You'd probably be right, but this is not about being right. It's about winning. And I won!!! I gots me those kids now! And I'm going to raise them to be famous rap stars so they can one day give me a job. Speaking of which, if you know anyone who's looking to hire a rap star, or male dancer, or waiter at Denny's, I'm your man. I'm alllll man, as Phil Collins would say.

Just remember, you can't spell father without K-Fed. Uh, huh. That's right. Kick it. Old school style bizzzznitch. Long live 2002!!!

Fresh and Def,


Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition

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