Thursday, February 28, 2008

McConaughey and Hudson to Release New Movie Called: This One Sucks Too

Hollywood, CA (ABSP) - Associated BS Press

After the amazing How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days, which can be seen every other day on TBS, Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey decided to do another film. The result? Fool's Gold. A critically acclaimed masterpiece that has so far seen tremendous box office success rivaling the greats like Titanic, Star Wars and White Girls. As they say in the business "success breeds success" (and Britney Spears just breeds), so Hudson and McConaughey have decided to team up once again for a new movie called This One Sucks Too about life, love, and everything in between (including lots and lots of full frontal nudity).

Audiences across the globe are anticipating this eventual best picture winner at an unprecedented level. An unnamed source within MGM said, "We haven't been this excited about a movie since the Seth Green sex tape leaked."

Another anonymous source within MGM was quoted as saying "Asian markets are going to be great. Them Chinese folks love that Hudson girl. Nice, radiant white skin. They like that stuff." In addition to the predicted Best Picture win, critics are already anticipating victories at the Sundance, Telluride, and Toronto Film Festivals. Roger Ebert, respected film critic and soft-core pornography connoisseur, has reportedly already put his thumb "way up in the air." A source close to the formerly obese but now svelte critic indicates that he's "gettin' his shit all worked up for this movie. Even though he playa hated on the first two movies, he's all psyched up for the third installment as it's common knowledge that trilogies always work."

No word yet from the Hudson or McConaughey camps, although paparazzi have spotted the two having full-on sex lots of times. Lots and lots. This doesn't necessarily indicate that the new movie will be released soon, but it sure doesn't hurt either.


Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition

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