Brad Garrett to Endorse Barack Obama

Ladies and Gentlemen of America,

I, Brad Garrett, officially endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States of America. For months and months, I ignored the campaign. I don't follow the news much as I spend all my time reading reviews of my horrific television series. It takes an awful lot of time to find a good one, so that pretty much takes up most of my free time. That and eating. Because I have gigantism. But I was broken out of my review-hunting-obsessive-eating cycle by some stunning news today. If you haven't heard yet, Lindsay Lohan officially endorsed Barack Obama for President. Sorry, I mean Colin Powell endorsed Senator Obama. Same thing.

This news was momentous for several reasons, although I can only think of one. And that one escapes my mind right now. But the point is, I like food and so does Colin Powell (he's getting a bit chubby, don't you think?), and he endorsed Obama. Therefore, I will throw my gigantism-fueled weight behind the junior Senator from Ill-annoys. You all should too.

After hearing about this endorsement, I went and read about Mr. Obama's proposals. Did you know he believes in tax cuts for the middle-class? I hadn't heard that. I'm not in the middle class anymore, but I used to be, so therefore...I lost my train of thought. My wife is cooking a pot roast and I'm thinking about that. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, vote Obama. I will because my show is going to get canceled soon and then I'll be in the middle class again.

I don't have much else to add, but hopefully my thoughts helped sway a swing voter or two. Good luck and roast beef.

Food,
Brad Garrett



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Tags: Brad Garrett, Lindsay Lohan, Colin Powell, Barack Obama