Sunday, October 19, 2008

Brad Garrett to Endorse Barack Obama




Ladies and Gentlemen of America,

I, Brad Garrett, officially endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States of America. For months and months, I ignored the campaign. I don't follow the news much as I spend all my time reading reviews of my horrific television series. It takes an awful lot of time to find a good one, so that pretty much takes up most of my free time. That and eating. Because I have gigantism. But I was broken out of my review-hunting-obsessive-eating cycle by some stunning news today. If you haven't heard yet, Lindsay Lohan officially endorsed Barack Obama for President. Sorry, I mean Colin Powell endorsed Senator Obama. Same thing.

This news was momentous for several reasons, although I can only think of one. And that one escapes my mind right now. But the point is, I like food and so does Colin Powell (he's getting a bit chubby, don't you think?), and he endorsed Obama. Therefore, I will throw my gigantism-fueled weight behind the junior Senator from Ill-annoys. You all should too.

After hearing about this endorsement, I went and read about Mr. Obama's proposals. Did you know he believes in tax cuts for the middle-class? I hadn't heard that. I'm not in the middle class anymore, but I used to be, so therefore...I lost my train of thought. My wife is cooking a pot roast and I'm thinking about that. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, vote Obama. I will because my show is going to get canceled soon and then I'll be in the middle class again.

I don't have much else to add, but hopefully my thoughts helped sway a swing voter or two. Good luck and roast beef.

Food,
Brad Garrett



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Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition


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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well who gives a flying fuck who Brad Garrett endorses?

9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, that's a coincidence...I like food too!! Well okay then, Obama it is!! I guess I would qualify as middle class as well. I look forward to sharing a class with you, Brad. I also like your show. BTW, it wasn't YOUR idea to change the whole format of Til Death....was it???

7:23 AM  
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3:09 PM  

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