Paula Abdul to Endorse Walter Mondale
I, Paula Abdul, officially endorse Walter Mondale for President of the United States of America. Yay!!! What? Wait. Oh yeah, I got it. Walter Mondale is my choice. He's the man to...wait. What? Ok. Yeah. I'm going to vote for Walter Mondale on election day in December. He's the man to help America through this...what's the word I'm looking for...I don't know. He's righteous. He's cool. And he's...what? Oh. He's not running? Oh. But I thought there was an old white guy running. Hmmm...that may change things.
Nah, it doesn't change things. I'm still voting for Mr. Mondale because he's dreamy. Speaking of dreamy, I saw Grey's Anatomy last night and that McDreamy is so McSteamy! Wait. No, that McDreamy is McDreamy. Yeah. I'd let him give me an enema. I don't mean that in a sexual way! I just need an enema right now. And he's a doctor, so I'd let him do it. I won't go into the details for why I need an enema, but let's just say that I've been eating a lot of cheese. Take that Simon! Yeah. What? Oh. Um. Okay, I lost my train of thought. I know what you're thinking, it's amazing that I even had a train of thought to lose, but...lost it again.
So in conclusion, on election day in December, I plan to cast my vote for Walter "the Mon" Mondale as he's the white man to save our country. I don't mean that as a racist thing. I love you Randy Jackson! It just happens to be that my candidate is white so I'm stating a fact. Yay, facts!! I've never used those things before. They can be cool. Cool like Mondale? You betcha! Ha ha, I just made a political joke because I made fun of...what am I talking about? Yeah. I love Grey's Anatomy.
See you soon, America.
Love and Vicodin,
Original Jennifer Love Hewitt petition
Tags: Paula Abdul, Grey's Anatomy, McDreamy, Walter Mondale